Other parents help needed?

You said that she is 22, wow that is really young when it is your own child, so step-mom at 22, probably not a great idea. I think that you should be more concerned over them attaching themselves to a woman that young and getting their hearts broken because she was too young to handle it then what state that you are in. And I do not mean to be hateful, but it is not fair to ask them to decide if they will be happy or not based on what Daddy would prefer. Kids want to please their parents and it just isn't fair to put them under pressure at such a young age. I know you did not mention marriage, but to children if you live with someone, it is pretty much the same thing because you are bringing another person into your family. And I know that females are more mature than males, but if she is 22 and your son is 9, come on, do the math, she was 13 when he was born. The teenage years are pure Hell dude, so try to think about the fact that in 4 years, he will be 13 and she will be 26 and if you have a baby with her, what do you think is going to happen when your son is dealing with all of the teenage issues? Trust me, I have 2 adult sons, it is hard to remember how much you love them when you have been with them since birth because the teen years are torture for parents. During that time you have to tell them that it is ok for them to hate you because you love them enough for them to grow up and figure it out, but it still hurts like Hell when they are screaming at you that they hate your guts and honey, if they don't, then you are not doing your job as a father because if they do not really hate you sometimes then you are not parenting. It isn't that easy and no one makes it to the end of the teen years without some hurt feelings. I really do believe that if we got to watch a future movie and we had to look at what happens between 12 and 21, we would not have children. If you are an athlete, you understand discipline and hard work to reach a goal. Parenting is the most difficult job that you can do, but you have to follow your instincts about things that you are not totally sure about and I think that you already know that you might be screwing up here. I am very proud of you for putting your boys before yourself at this age in your life because 32 is still really young also and a lot of men are not willing to be unselfish. I hope that you find happiness for all of you, sweetheart. Try to remember the corny thing about any man can be a father, but few know how to be a Dad and also know that those boys are watching your example for what kind of men that they will be